Must A Aspiring Influencer Pal Stop Using People for Material?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?